Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Holy Day

Monsignor Moose informs all G-d fearing Americans that Wednesday, April 13th is the most sacred day in the Republican moral calendar.

Brothers and Sisters and all ye of faith, fall to your knees and genuflect at the altar of the almighty dollar! This is a time for deep and reflective prayer. For tomorrow, the Godly Republican Cardinals will gather in the House to provide eternal life for the blessed sacrament of the GOP - the permanent elimination of the estate tax for the ultra-wealthy.

Amdist all of the recent talk of death and morality, we arrive at the moment to eternally preserve salvation for the heirs of multi-million dollar estates. Maybe the Schiavo family won't benefit from this sacred action, but this is the true reason that G-d placed Republicans on earth - to reward those who did nothing but be born into the right family.

Praise the Lord!

But evil Satan raised his objections to this most holy action in a Washington Post editorial titled, The Rich Get Richer,

"WITH MEDICAID and food stamps on the chopping block, the House of Representatives is about to vote for a $290 billion tax break for the richest sliver of Americans. The subject is, once again, the estate tax. Under the convoluted, dishonest plan Congress approved in 2001, the estate tax was to be gradually reduced and eliminated by 2010, only to spring back the following year to its 2001 level: a tax of 55 percent on estates of $1 million or more. Tomorrow the House is set to vote to keep full repeal in place after 2010.

"This is unnecessary, irrational and unaffordable. Those who inveigh against the "death tax" point to the travails of family farmers and other small-business owners whose heirs are supposedly forced to liquidate enterprises to pay the tax bill. In fact, even if the estate tax were to revert in 2011 to its 2001 level -- and no one believes that the exemption will remain at $1 million -- it would affect the estates of only 2 percent of those expected to die that year. At $3.5 million (and $7 million for a couple) -- the level proposed in a Democratic alternative sponsored by Rep. Earl Pomeroy (N.D.) -- a mere three-tenths of 1 percent of estates would be covered. In other words, no one but the richest Americans would be asked to pay estate tax."

Clearly the secular humanists at the Post don't comprehend that it is the Lord's will that the GOP comfort the comfortable and afflict the afflicted. All of that other religious talk about values, morals and virtues is merely cover for the GOP's true faith based mission to preserve the riches of the rich man.

And those hawkish heathens who believe this money would be better spent to defend American and equip our soldiers don't comprehend that patriotic Republicans only wear the flag pins on their lapels, but they labor under the banner of the sacred dollar sign.

So, tomorrow Republicans will devoutly entomb the death tax. And the resurrection of riches for trust fund heirs will surely follow.

And will everyone please say...Amen!
-- Posted at 8:06 AM | Link to this post | Email this post