Friday, April 15, 2005

Physician, Heal Thy Filibuster

Pastor Moose alerts his parishioners that the Right Reverend Bill Frist, M.D.'s Amazing Salvation and Medicine Show may be soon coming to a mega-church near you.

Praise be the Lord! Deliverance is just around the bend as the Righteous Doctor is taking his healing powers and his ministry to the airwaves. Frist's faith-inspired healing powers, that were on full display in his video-diagnosis in the Schiavo case, will now attempt to prevent the pagan Democrats from employing Satan's devious tool, the filibuster.

The New York Times reports,

"As the Senate heads toward a showdown over the rules governing judicial confirmations, Senator Bill Frist, the majority leader, has agreed to join a handful of prominent Christian conservatives in a telecast portraying Democrats as "against people of faith" for blocking President Bush's nominees.

"Fliers for the telecast, organized by the Family Research Council and scheduled to originate at a Kentucky megachurch the evening of April 24, call the day "Justice Sunday" and depict a young man holding a Bible in one hand and a gavel in the other. The flier does not name participants, but under the heading "the filibuster against people of faith," it reads: "The filibuster was once abused to protect racial bias, and it is now being used against people of faith."

And the Lord sayeth, "Smite the filibuster and invoke the Godly nuclear option." Because Reverend Frist, M.D. has not been associated with Pentecostal type faith healing in the past, some heathen cynics might suggest that his religious fervor was triggered by his political ambitions. Evidence of this born-again conversion was provided by Reverend Frist, M.D.'s colleague in the Washington Post,

"From a political point of view, if he's forced to change the Senate rules to end the filibusters, that will only help him in the Republican primary for president," said Sen. Lamar Alexander (R-Tenn.), a former presidential candidate. "It's a top issue among most Republican primary voters."

But then again, Dr. Frist's faithful allies may have a point about such matters as Darwin and the theory of evolution. How else can one explain that Tom DeLay serves in the same institution as Henry Clay? For that matter, one can only wonder if the process of evolution is true if Reverend Frist is a successor to the likes of Everett Dirksen. Clearly, Darwin was wrong.

Pastor Moose looks forward to the day when Reverend Frist, M.D. calls Senators to the well of the chamber and conducts a laying on of hands and cures such ailments as male pattern balding, hemorrhoids, bunions and enlarged prostates. And while he's at it, this righteous man of the cloth will advance the Second Coming by smiting the filibuster!
-- Posted at 8:10 AM | Link to this post | Email this post