Thursday, June 09, 2005

The Pennsylvania Avenue Memo

While grazing in Lafayette Park, The Moose Intelligence Service discovered an apparent top secret White House Memo.

To: Wormwood
Fr: K.R.

My dear servant, forgive my melancholy, but I am uncomfortably burdened with the bleak state of affairs. Our dear leader's popularity is plummeting while we must continue to appease our righteous supporters. Once a godsend, they have become a cross to bear (forgive the religious metaphor) - all they do is ask for more - Schiavo, defense of DeLay, stem cells and nuclear options. I realize that we have become co-dependent with the religious right - but Lordy, Lordy we are paying a steep price for their support. I feel as if I am a Dr. Frankenstein who has created a monster that is out of my control!

I had such high hopes for social security privatization and the ownership society. Now, we only "own" a bear political market. And my efforts to court the Latino community through immigration reform are being undermined by the Tancredo xenophobes in the House.

Perhaps the most significant domestic event that will have profound political implications is the announcement by General Motors of massive layoffs. The decline of GM could become a powerful symbol of economic anemia as we approach the mid-term elections.

And alas, the war is not going according to plan. Oh, if we could only have rid ourselves of Rummy! We needed a scapegoat to protect W. But, the Veep was insistent that we retain his mentor. And it may be a matter of time that Colin blows the whistle on us.

As a consequence, we are losing the support of independents and even moderate folks in our own party. But you, dear servant, have attempted to come to my rescue. First, you put in place our preferred candidate as the leader of our opposition. Then, you gave him my talking points to attack Republicans as those who don't work for a living and as a "white Christian" party. While I am conducting outreach to their core constituencies, he is insulting the very people who may be open to an appeal from reasonable Democrats. Delicious.

However, even that apparent blunder may not be an unalloyed benefit for us. The faux pas of our opposition will not serve as our salvation. In fact, smart Democrats may find a way to distinguish themselves from the verbal miscues of their leader. He can serve as a lightening rod and make other Democrats appear downright reasonable! Our efforts could backfire. Indeed, could this leader be aware of our infiltration and be playing the foil to enable others in the party to position themselves as moderates?

Other Democrats are certainly aware of our fundamental weaknesses and exploit them in a wily way. For example, the lady from New York is adroitly moving to seize the center from us while simultaneously keeping her base energized. Consequently, please tell our friends at Fox, Drudge and Limbaugh to escalate the assaults on her.

Meanwhile, can you do something to mollify the demands of our allies? The money types can appreciate the dictates of pragmatism. But the Dobsonites are so unbending with their quaint notion that "the Lord on their side". They do weary me so.

Perhaps this is a moment of weakness and I am overly sensitive. But, I fear we are taking on water.
-- Posted at 8:27 AM | Link to this post | Email this post