The Moose Intelligence Service retrieved this top secret memo from aboard Air Force One earlier this week.
CONFIDENTIAL - EYES ONLY - TOP SECRET
So, your brilliance, you say that I can't choose my main man Alberto for the SCOTUS job? This is a fella who has stuck with me in good times and in bad. Heck, when I was called for jury duty a few years back he was able to hide the fact that I'd been picked up for driving while under the influence. He's a foxhole friend and I'm a Texan - and some guy who calls himself the Moose on the internets is even calling me a wimp if I don't stick by Al. Something like that could show up in Hotline and the press corps will put it out in the mainstream media.
Soon the entire chattering class will be questioning my manhood!
I know that you insist that I must chose a right wing nut to satisfy my debt to the fundies. But they're getting too big for their britches. I have given them everything - you even made me interrupt my down time in Crawford for that Schiavo lady. Now, they're daring me not to chose my buddy - that doesn't sound like the Christian thing to do, does it?
Enough is enough - can't you get them to settle down? You and I know that Gonzales is no liberal tool - he was loyal to our corporate pals in Texas and he'll give the left fits on the torture memos. Plus, we can appeal to the Latino vote.
Why not tell 'em I'll put Scalia in when the Chief steps down? I know, I know, they want a reliable vote to overturn Roe in both jobs and that still leaves them short. But, don't you agree that it wouldn't necessarily be the best thing for the party to have Roe overturned? I know a whole lotta rich Republican women who are fine with our "culture of life" rhetoric as long as we don't actually do anything to jeopardize abortion. Heck, my own mom will have a conniption fit if Roe is threatened!
Turd Blossom, you've got to cut me some slack. You and I have created the image that I am a swaggering Texan and now I'll appear a wussy wimp if I cave into pressure from the God squad. How will I be able to show my face at the Crawford Coffee Station if I cravenly capitulate to the wing nut set?
By the way, Boy Genius, do I have to remind you that you're not always on target? And speaking of that, how is the Bolton nomination coming along? And I hope everything is going swell with the Plame investigation.
Just kidding, buddy. You know I love ya pal! --