Friday, September 30, 2005

Secret Memo Found

While grazing in Lafayette Park, the Moose came upon the following memo from a Senior White House official to an operative.

To: Wormwood
Fr: K.R.

I am somewhat reluctant to put this brief directive in writing for reasons that will become obvious. My dear servant, you have been with me in good times and bad, but we have reached the bottom of the barrel. I will acknowledge my errors. Social Security privatization was a mistake - I over-reached after the election. The Schiavo matter was a fiasco - sometimes I can get carried away in my subservience to the base.

There are other events outside even my control - Iraq and Katrina. But, why did I succumb to the POTUS' insistence that he pursue his mountain-bike obsession for five weeks in Crawford? And then I was stricken with kidney stones when our leader desperately needed direction. Oh, the Gods have been unmerciful.

And, of course, I have the Plame prosecutor breathing down my back. With all of this aggravation , Frist's blind trust can see and the Bugman is bagged! The fates have not been kind.

That is why I am now driven to this plot - which even by my standards is low-down, audacious and devious. I now believe that it would be in the long term interests of the cause to temporarily lose control of the House of Representatives - and you must do all in your power to accomplish this task. Hear me out.

The House Republicans have become an albatross around our necks. They have the distinct aroma of corruption. Better to lose them in '06 and allow the liberal face of the Democratic Party to come front and center. Just as our House Republicans over-reached in '95 and '96, the same will happen with the House Democrats. Losing the House in '94 was perhaps the best thing that happened to Clinton's re-election chances in '96. Similarly, in '08, we will run against the threat of liberals controlling the federal government once again. This sacrifice will make it easier for the party to retain the White House and perhaps regain the House.

I realize, dear Wormwood, that this appears to be a desperate plot. But, we do indeed live in desperate times!
-- Posted at 8:16 AM | Link to this post | Email this post