Monday, November 14, 2005

Andy's World

Through sources, the Moose was leaked this diary entry from the White House Chief of Staff.


Dear Diary,

Today is yet another day that P is in a petulant mood. P is wallowing in self-pity. Thinks the entire staff is letting him down. He wonders why Scotty can't just tell the pressies to shut up and mind their manners. Feels that they are disrespecting the P's house.

P is still upset about South American trip. He wonders whose brilliant idea it was to start the 10 pm dinner at his bedtime in Buenos Aires. And he complains that no one brought his favorite feather pillow. Sweat the details!

Note to self - make certain that stewards have pb&j sandwiches without crust in P's room after exotic dinners on Asia trip.

P is still not talking to Veep. Refers to him as "Spiro." In retrospect, characterizes his pick as the political equivalent of the Baines-Sosa trade. He won't forgive him for the Libby thing. Thinks he was lied to by both of them over the leak. P continues to be hungry for any scrap of gossip about Scooter and Judy M. He refers to the saga as "Desperate Sources."

P is particularly annoyed by Veep's continuing battle over torture. He has also been calling Veep "Torture Boy" and "Jack Bauer" lately.

P is also annoyed by K.R. Has returned to referring to him as "Turd Blossom." The days of "Boy Genius" are over. Thinks that K.R. was the "Architect" of his current woes. He also continues to complain about K.R.'s role in "Desperate Sources." P is convinced that K.R. did Harriet in with his back door channels to the wing nuts. P thinks that maybe it wouldn't be so bad if "Fitzy" nails him. FLOTUS shares P's view on K.R.

However, P agreed to K.R.'s "Democratic fifth column" Veterans Day speech slamming Iraq critics. Has K.R. been on the phone with Colson again? It has such a Nixonian feel to it.

41 called me again today. He is in a petulant mood. He is wallowing in self-pity. He thinks that the staff is letting the boy down. 41 wants to call in JAB III for a consult, or as he refers to him, "the Consigliere." He is increasingly fond of the Godfather metaphors. Now and then 41 refers to P as "Michael."

41 is also distraught over Veep's performance. Feels that he has been let down by the man that he put in place to be P's minder. 41 also warns me to watch my back from K.R. - as if I didn't know that from day one. I feel like am in the middle of a civil war between the Kennebunkports and the Crawfords.

I figure that I will cheer P up tonight with another viewing of "Meet the Parents" in the White House theater. P still splits his sides laughing when he hears that Ben Stiller's character is named, "Gay Focker".

P is such a kid!


Note - The Moose will be on the loose for the next few days - filling in will be the most able, "Rough Writer/Rider."
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