Monday, March 06, 2006

The Answer

An always constructive Moose offers a Swiftian solution to the Administration's woes.

The President is clearly approaching the Jimmy Carter/Richard Nixon range, or worse. The American people will soon stop listening to him unless he takes dramatic action. The generic GOP numbers are below that of some serial killers. Republican Congressmen are on suicide watch - they have been instructed to remove their belts, shoelaces and stay away from sharp objects. The RNC has begun to include doses of Prozac with their direct mail appeals. Dr. Phil is offering therapy to White House staffers.

Desperate times demand desperate action.

It is time for W. to bring Michael Brown back into the Administration. Hear the Moose out - he has not flipped his alters (well maybe he this is an antler in cheek recommendation).

Michael Brown has proven over the past week he is the master of damage control. He should have received an Oscar for the best supporting actor in a Disaster of Biblical Proportions. He might not have performed too well with Katrina, but now Brownie is truly doing one heck of a job. And at least he never shot anybody - a distinct asset in this Administration.

Whenever you turn on the tube these days, you will see the feisty but humble presence of Brownie. He is turning a lemon into lemonade, chicken sh*t into chicken salad as he shifts the blame onto the other Michael - Chertoff.

Next to the word "chutzpah" in Websters is Brownie's picture.

Brown is clearly a turnaround artist. You almost forget what actually happened on his watch. He is the flack of the year. Karl Rove, Andy Card, Scott McClellan - you have met your match. At a time that the President is without a credible voice - Brownie is the man. While the Administration spokesmen have been virtually invisible, the Brownster has been ubiquitous.

Brown has proven himself to be the Sultan of Spin and the Dean of Damage Control. Is he less competent than say... Donald Rumsfeld? Is bringing Brownie back less preposterous than making Karen Hughes the roving ambassador to the Muslim world?

Mr. President - you are at political code red. You need a Director of FEPRMA - the Federal Emergency Public Relations Management Agency - ASAP.

Michael Brown is the answer.

Yes, it's really that bad.
-- Posted at 6:29 AM | Link to this post | Email this post